I Just Don't Get It

I don't get it, I don't get it, I don't get it!

It's painful. Why the fuck is it so painful? It shouldn't hurt. It's never hurt before. It's like I can't breathe, like I'm choking on words I can never say, or bare to say.

I don't get it!

I used to be cruel, I used to be heartless, I used to NOT CARE. What the fuck is going on? I don't understand! It's not fair! There's so much pain involved. Like peices severed from my core. Why the hell do I feel this way?

I don't get it!

There are tears shed for petty reasons, things that don't matter. WHY?! It makes no fucking sense. None at all. What has been done to me? Like I'm reaching for something that I'm almost positive I've lost, as I feel it on the edge of my fingertips.

I don't get it!

Aching, why do I feel this way? Why? I miss the old me. I miss the me that only thought of myself... I miss her.

I don't get it...

Cause I don't miss her... not really... I never liked her... Yet here I am, entangled in something I don't fully understand, longing for familiarity...

... I don't get it...

Is this pain good? Is it normal? I'm not always in pain... no... not always... only sometimes...

I just get upset when I feel it...

But it's stupid... cause I'm happy most of the time...

I'm just scared... I'm insecure... I'm just lonely... I'm fragile...

I don't get it...

But I do know one thing...

You make me happy... and I love you...

I understand how I get upset... just flaws I think you see... and sometimes...

I just don't get it..